For many people with ADHD, emotional dysregulation isn't just a side effect, it's the main event. One second you're fine, the next your heart's racing, your thoughts are spiraling, and you're in full blown panic mode. Let's talk about the connection between ADHD and anxiety, and what you can actually do about it.No sugar-coating, no toxic positivity.
ADHD vs Anxiety: Where's the Line?
Anxiety and ADHD often overlap in confusing ways. Statistically, around 50% of people with ADHD also experience anxiety. Those with inattentive-type ADHD tend to have higher co-occurrence.
But here's the kicker: anxiety often doesn't show up as worrying about one specific thing. It's the wave of dread that comes out of nowhere. It's your brain racing thoughts.
Sometimes, what looks like anxiety is actually the consequence of untreated or unmanaged ADHD:
- Not starting or finishing tasks → panic spiral
- Hormonal changes and overwhelm → mood crash
- Always feeling behind → chronic stress response
It's your nervous system in overdrive.
Emotional Dysregulation in ADHD Looks Like:
- Crying over small things but feeling numb when something big happens
- Replaying awkward moments from 2017 at 3AM
- Intense guilt after emotional outbursts
- Struggling to name what you feel, just knowing it's too much
This isn't you being dramatic. It's neurological.
Real-Life Strategies to Soothe Emotional Storms
Here are some field-tested methods not just theory, but actual practices that can help you ground yourself and reset.
1. Move Your Body (Even When You Don't Want To)
Being stagnant makes it worse. Studies show a sedentary lifestyle is tied to poorer mental health, especially in ADHD.
What works:
- A brisk walk, even for 10 minutes
- Dancing/Jumping in your room
- Walking barefoot on grass or soft stone (sensory grounding)
Your body needs motion. Your mind follows.
2. Sensory Regulation Is Underrated
- Essential oils: I personally use them by spreading a few drops on my bed before sleeping. Not on pulse points, no fancy burners. Just scent as a cue for calm.
- Head massages: Gentle scalp or head massages can release tension stored in the body—especially for those who carry stress in their jaw, forehead, or temples.
- Tactile grounding: Hold a warm mug. Touch a textured surface. Use a weighted blanket.
ADHD brains often need physical regulation before emotional regulation.
3. Take Care of Your Neck (Yes, Seriously)
Neck tension and anxiety go hand-in-hand. Studies have shown a causal relationship between neck pain and mood disorders like depression and anxiety.
If you're hyper focused for hours at a screen, your neck is likely stiff and that tension feeds back into your emotional system.
Try:
- Neck rolls every hour
- Shoulder shrugs
- Gentle heat pack
- Looking up and around every 20 minutes to reset posture
Don't underestimate how much your body tension triggers emotional distress.
4. Rethink Your Gut-Brain Connection
There's emerging evidence around gut health and its role in emotional dysregulation. IBS, particularly IBS-D, has been tied to ADHD and anxiety. One key culprit: propionic acid, a fatty acid that, when it crosses the blood-brain barrier, can cause inflammation and neurotransmitter issues.
Strategies:
- Reduce ultra-processed foods high in preservatives and additives
- Add prebiotics (like bananas, garlic, oats)
- Balance sugar and carbs with fiber or greens before meals
The goal isn't a perfect diet. It's one that doesn't spike your brain into overdrive.
Examples of Calming Adjustments in Real Life
- Before writing a stressful email, I roll my shoulders, stretch, and sit back for 60 seconds.
- When I can't sleep from racing thoughts, I rub lavender oil onto my sheets.
- When I feel disconnected, I hold ice cubes or run cold water over my wrists.
- During spirals, I'll sometimes walk barefoot on my terrace for sensory grounding.
- On emotional days, I give myself permission to just complete one thing—laundry, a meal, a message. Anything.
Final Thoughts
ADHD doesn't just make it hard to focus, it messes with how we feel and how long we stay in those feelings. Emotional dysregulation is exhausting. But it's also manageable when we stop blaming ourselves and start building systems of support through movement, sensory care, food, and self-compassion.
You are not unstable. You are overstimulated.
And it's okay to take care of yourself in weird, personal, non-linear ways.
Because your healing doesn't have to look like anyone else's.